My First Date

I finally took life into my own hands and took the plunge.

Been following this guy on Instagram with an amazing physique and personality. He was way of out my league, but I still sent him a message. Imagine my surprise when he responded and we got talking.

“Want to grab a bite to eat or some coffee?”

I was jumping up and down and panicking at the same time. I have never done something like this before but my goodness did I want to.

This guy was built like a God, had a beard (swoon), amazing personality, was my religion and seemed like a genuinely cool person.

So what gave me the guts to contact this Adonis? His account mentioned depression and social anxiety.┬áIf you saw what he looked like you wouldn’t believe it either.

Fast forward. We met up for coffee at Starbucks. I was super shy and nervous at first but the thought of his social anxiety put me at ease.

He was pretty easy to talk to. There was a lot of question asking as this was our first meet, and we talked for 2hours!

I was so physically attracted to this guy, he had a sexy deep voice, gorgeous light grey eyes, amazing personality and to top it off he was so humble. What are the odds. Seriously?

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I Go Blind And Let The Lord Do His Thing

I’m no longer consistently posting, but that’s because I’m out here living.

Don’t really want to do that usual 2017 new year post thing, but I feel like I need to reflect back on 2016.

Politically the year sucked for the world.

Personally this was a good year for me.

Looking back through my blog I had so much negative anger that I kept hold off. I turned myself into my own biggest problem – that’s a story for another day.

All I want to say for anyone out there who finds themselves relating to my blogs is that it’s ok. I found out that you need to go through the crazy times in order to FIND yourself. You need to hit rock bottom and figure out how to climb back up by YOURSELF. No matter how many people you are surrounded by that love you, it is your personal journal to SELF discovery. If you aren’t the one picking yourself up, then it’s not happening man, you are not living YOUR life. Stop waiting for someone to put out a helping hand, sad truth is that everyone is out here for themselves.

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Never before seen footage from Sri Harmandir Sahib, The Sikh Golden Temple. These people are truly devoted, I can only hope that I reach this level of devotion and selfless service one day.

Born because of the karma of their past mistakes, they make more mistakes, and fall into mistakes. ~ Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

The servant carries the bags of money on his head, but it goes to his master’s house, and he receives only pain. The man sits as a king in his dreams, but when he opens his eyes, he sees that it was all in vain. ~ Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

Funny Isn’t It….

Covering up is frowned upon and considered ‘prudish, boring and constrictive’. Walking around half-naked is ‘fun, hot but slutty’. When did protecting ones dignity become a ‘bad-thing’.

covering up vs nakedThe media is such a brainwashing phenomena that we have become confused between what is real or fake and what is right or wrong. Turn on the news today and all you see and hear is the Muslim religion slandered daily….in a politically correct manner of course! Continue reading

I’ll Pencil You In

My latest posts have been centred around how trapped and suffocated I have been feeling. So it’s only fitting that my social circle is too busy for me! It’s that time of year where kids are going through exams. All my friends, siblings and cousins are all busy with studying. Except me! I am working this year and I finally have my weekends free (no stupid Saturday job for me)! However it’s just fitting that when these people are not studying they are working part time on the weekends! Just my luck (I seriously need new friends).

So I am bored, I want to go out, I want to have fun, I want to be a fucking kid. It’s so unfair how I am being restricted from every angle in my life!

  • Strict, overprotective parents with old-school views means that my choices and options of what I can do are limited.
  • A restricted social circle limits my options of what, when and with whom I can carry out the list of restricted things I can do.
  • Social/cultural/religious views, morals and rules tie into all the above and again the key word here is RESTRICTION!
Trapped inside your own mind

Trapped inside your own mind

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They Be Clipping My Wings

Ever since I started work, I have been feeling restless. Monday to Friday goes along great, too busy with travel and work to think.

5pm Friday I’m feeling good, work is over and the weekend is welcome. Except it isn’t. My good mood and wide grin dies down in exactly 1hour 30 minutes. The time it takes me to travel home and think about what the evening and the next 2 days hold.

Shit all.

I feel trapped, suffocated, angry, restless, dispirited. I’m a 20 year old girl wanting to explore life and the world around me. But I’m trapped. I don’t even know who to blame any more. Myself or my family?

So sick of this shit, I feel like there is a bright twinkling spirit bursting around inside me, but minute by minute the light dims and the fuse blows.

Fireflies sparks

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Romeo and Juliet in The Jungles of Punjab

3 months ago my family found out that my 17 year old cousin in India had a boyfriend. It was fucking chaos. If ever I needed a reminder as to why I live such a scared, sheltered, “good-girl” life, then that was it.

This cousin of mine was the perfect daughter. She was polite, well mannered, hard working and everyone used to sing her praises 24/7 especially my mother (it was her brothers daughter). She never put a foot wrong, she was the definition of good-girl. So when the news of her 2 year boyfriend accidentally came out, everyone flipped. Indian girls (especially those who live in the urban villages in India), do not supposedly entertain the thought of boys, let alone have a secret relationship.

When this news hit I was shocked, but not for the same reasons as everyone else. I was shocked that they had found out, because as you may have guessed I already new about her relationship. When I visited a couple of years back she told me she was in a relationship and surprised the hell out of me (again Indian girls do NOT have relationships, India is strict as hell and very old-school). She told me all about her secret hidden phone and the secret meetings between school and any outings (simple things such as a trip to a corner shop to get food).

You can’t tell anybody.

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