Will You Hold My Hand, Please?

I’m seeking a husband.

But I’ve never had a date. I’m 24.

It’s a little different in my culture, we’re not supposed to date around in order to avoid temptation as we are to enter marriage as virgins.

Can you imagine how difficult it is to be 24 and never have been in a relationship. I am craving male companionship and physical contact, not necessarily sex, but simply holding hands and having someone to hug. Try going that long without that physical human contact, it gets quite lonely.

I have informed my family that I am ready for marriage and they have started ‘the search’. This involves them asking friends and family in our community of any suitable matches. It’s basically old-school match-making. Word spreads and you end up marrying your Gran’s-sisters-husbands-brothers-sons-cousins-friends-uncles-son.

It’s an arranged marriage which isn’t so much arranged. My family are the matchmakers who introduce potentials and we both will meet and chat and decide if we would like to get to know each other, but you do so with a marriage in view (average engagement is around 1-2years). During the time that you ‘date’ you are essentially wedding planing, which may seem odd to those from the Western world.

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Narcissistic VS Low Self-Esteem

One of the official definitions of narcissism is Excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which the individual is described as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity. 

According to Wikipedia Some of the symptoms of Narcissistic personality disorder are:

  • Reacts to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation
  • Imagines unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance
  • Requires constant attention and positive reinforcement from others
  • Easily becomes jealous
  • Lacks empathy and disregards the feelings of others
  • Is easily hurt and rejected
  • Sets unrealistic goals
  • Wants “the best” of everything
  • Appears as tough-minded or unemotional

Now the image we tend to have of the word Narcissistic is of a beautiful person who stares in the mirror all day and flicks their hair. But according to the symptoms above I would technically be diagnosed as a narcissist! Now to someone who suffers from low self-esteem that has got to be the biggest piece of BULL I have never heard. Continue reading