Will You Hold My Hand, Please?

I’m seeking a husband.

But I’ve never had a date. I’m 24.

It’s a little different in my culture, we’re not supposed to date around in order to avoid temptation as we are to enter marriage as virgins.

Can you imagine how difficult it is to be 24 and never have been in a relationship. I am craving male companionship and physical contact, not necessarily sex, but simply holding hands and having someone to hug. Try going that long without that physical human contact, it gets quite lonely.

I have informed my family that I am ready for marriage and they have started ‘the search’. This involves them asking friends and family in our community of any suitable matches. It’s basically old-school match-making. Word spreads and you end up marrying your Gran’s-sisters-husbands-brothers-sons-cousins-friends-uncles-son.

It’s an arranged marriage which isn’t so much arranged. My family are the matchmakers who introduce potentials and we both will meet and chat and decide if we would like to get to know each other, but you do so with a marriage in view (average engagement is around 1-2years). During the time that you ‘date’ you are essentially wedding planing, which may seem odd to those from the Western world.

d53da67687183665830afe3672543e3b

Continue reading

They Can’t Poke Me Anymore

Started 2016 off with a bang by deactivating my Facebook account! Wowza that felt good.

I’m not committing to never going back, but a break from it will be good for me. This is one resolution that I have partially completed by just clicking the button. I was really apprehensive and didn’t want to do it, worrying that I would miss out on a lot of gossip and information about my ‘FB Friends’, but nevertheless I have just pressed the Deactivate Button people!

My low-self esteem, low-self worth and confidence is a problem that spills onto every aspect of my life. Facebook and general social media culture consists of people posting the most fabulous moments of their life for the world to see, which can get a little depressing. Especially when you know you are prone to the little green eye and base your self-worth on every comparison you can make to others.

Screen shot 2016-01-02 at 16.31.34

Continue reading

Climbing Off My High Horse

I’ve flicked through my blog and realised a lot of my posts originate from a righteous attitude and a deeply instilled sense of anger. I’ve been busy living life this past year and its been messy, hurtful but fun. I’ve learnt a lot of lessons, the key one being that you need to speak. I’m a quiet individual, always sitting in the background letting everyone else dull my shine. But that’s my own fault. If I want something I need to speak up. If I don’t like something I need to speak up and communicate my feelings. I’m simply so used to keeping my mouth shut its just become a habit.

My posts are very black and white, and that’s because I feel that people should just do something or not. Simple yes or no. But having lived life this past year and stepping outside my comfort zone I realise that life is colourful. Messy as hell but colourful. There is no black and white and that’s the problem. It’s easy to sit behind a keyboard, shut out the world and voice your angry thoughts and opinions, but it’s just so draining. Getting out there and doing is so much more fun.

As always my posts don’t make much sense, but I just had this surging need to come onto here and write this. If you can figure out what the rambling above means then please let me know, because I haven’t a bloody clue.

Happy New Year 🙂

2c47a3e3e05c5563e99a55cc64aed19c

Rupi Kaur – Milk and Honey