Not Worthy Enough

My confidence has collapsed again.

It never even grew enough to build a stable, strong foundation. That’s what makes it harder.

I don’t feel worthy. Of anything.

I’m receiving love from my family but don’t feel worthy of it, that’s where the hostility is coming from. I’m on the defensive once again.

It’s time. I need to take the step and find a therapist.

I need to let go of this once and for all.

I can’t keep dragging this weight around anymore. I’m emotionally battered.

I don’t even know why.

End game.

Do You Not Like Me?

What happened to you as a child?

That is the main question or issue that a psychiatrist, counsellor or shrink will try to get down to. There is research to prove that the problems we may deal with as adults have stemmed from our childhoods. However trying to remember events from our childhood is the problem itself, particularly for those individuals who endured traumatising events and have since completely blocked them out.

I have been contemplating going to talk to a professional to sort out my self-esteem and self-confidence issues. So I tried to do some self-helping and thought about the questions that they would most likely ask me. The obvious ones stem down to what happened to bring on such low self-esteem and when did it happen.

Looking back as far as I could I just couldn’t find an answer, because as far as memory serves I have always been a shy, introverted, quiet little girl who lack confidence.

But then one day it hit me. A little snippet of a memory that is only one piece of this puzzle.  Continue reading