May as well eat baby.
What happened to you as a child?
That is the main question or issue that a psychiatrist, counsellor or shrink will try to get down to. There is research to prove that the problems we may deal with as adults have stemmed from our childhoods. However trying to remember events from our childhood is the problem itself, particularly for those individuals who endured traumatising events and have since completely blocked them out.
I have been contemplating going to talk to a professional to sort out my self-esteem and self-confidence issues. So I tried to do some self-helping and thought about the questions that they would most likely ask me. The obvious ones stem down to what happened to bring on such low self-esteem and when did it happen.
Looking back as far as I could I just couldn’t find an answer, because as far as memory serves I have always been a shy, introverted, quiet little girl who lack confidence.
But then one day it hit me. A little snippet of a memory that is only one piece of this puzzle. Continue reading
For a long while now I have been feeling angry. So angry. All the time. The little things tick me off, I have no patience for people and things, I don’t care about anything, my aspirations and goals just don’t matter any more. Looking back at them makes me snicker, I mean who was I to even dream those dreams.
Everything is just bleak.
I tell myself to stop dreaming, what’s the point.
Things I felt so strongly and passionately about are just boring and a waste of time. If you follow my blog you will know that I have a strong aversion and hatred for adultery and cheating (can’t get enough of blogging about it), but now I just don’t care. The other day a thought went through my head: “If I every get cheated on I don’t care anymore, just let it be, I can’t bothered to deal with the drama”.
When that thought popped up in my muddled mess of a mind I was amazed. I have either beat the crap out of that subject and my sub-conscience is literally mentally tired of the issue or/and I am just tired of life and its stresses.
Ok so back to the anger issue, I sat down and thought what the fuck is making me so angry, whatever it is needs to get sorted asap, because the people around me are slowly getting pissed off.
After weeks of thinking around the issue and trying to psychoanalyse myself I realised it stems to one thing. That one fucking thing that had laid slightly dormant for a while before cropping up with a vengance (I am noting a cycle with this).
In the UK right now we are being compensated for the dreadful weather we have had to endure with a week of beautiful sunshine and heat. With temperatures of 24°C to 28°C everyone has a smile on their face……………………………..except me.
Don’t get me wrong I love the sunshine as much as the next guy, what I hate is not being able to wear my armour of jackets, hoodies, cardigans, coats etc, anything that will basically keep me covered up. Summertime for everyone else is being able to wear low cut shorts, skirts and necklines.
For me that means say hello to the bingo wings, muffin top, jelly belly and chicken thighs. FAN-F***ING-TASTIC. Continue reading