My First Date

I finally took life into my own hands and took the plunge.

Been following this guy on Instagram with an amazing physique and personality. He was way of out my league, but I still sent him a message. Imagine my surprise when he responded and we got talking.

“Want to grab a bite to eat or some coffee?”

I was jumping up and down and panicking at the same time. I have never done something like this before but my goodness did I want to.

This guy was built like a God, had a beard (swoon), amazing personality, was my religion and seemed like a genuinely cool person.

So what gave me the guts to contact this Adonis? His account mentioned depression and social anxiety. If you saw what he looked like you wouldn’t believe it either.

Fast forward. We met up for coffee at Starbucks. I was super shy and nervous at first but the thought of his social anxiety put me at ease.

He was pretty easy to talk to. There was a lot of question asking as this was our first meet, and we talked for 2hours!

I was so physically attracted to this guy, he had a sexy deep voice, gorgeous light grey eyes, amazing personality and to top it off he was so humble. What are the odds. Seriously?

I kept hinting to him that I needed to get married soon, I made it clear that I was from a strict family and all the expectations I was up against. To be honest I don’t really remember if he responded to that or not, but his motto was that he really liked me and we should get to know each.

I went home and discussed the situation with a select few family members I could trust.

I was so confused over him. Physically he was more than I could ask for. But  his background was so different to mind. He had a somewhat shady past (but truth be told this didn’t bother me at all, it just added to the bad-boy persona he somewhat exerted). He came from a very small family (I come from a big family). He wasn’t raised as traditionally as I was (I’ve realised I really love my culture and the traditions I’ve grown up with). He didn’t study past school (I’m studying a professional qualification). There were just so many differences and I found myself making excuses. Too many excuses.

I wanted to hold onto him and see where it went, but with the influence of my family, I made a decision not to take it any further.

The hardest decision I have ever made.

Seriously the hardest decision ever. It had me in tears.

My goodness I wished I could just be like other girls and just take the risk and see where a relationship goes. Instead I thought of the future. I thought of whether I could marry this guy. Whether my family would approve. Whether we could make our different lifestyles match. Whether I could adapt to his lifestyle. That’s a lot of thinking for someone who went and had a chat with a stranger over some coffee!

I was really upset when I rang him and told him to ‘let’s just be friend’s’ because the day before he said he really, really liked me and wanted to see where it went. He was even willing to meet my family to put me and them at ease! How crazy is that.

I wrote this because this situation showed me how mature and how strong I am. I made a difficult decision to let go of something I really wanted in order to not hurt him or me.

He really appreciated my honesty and said “thanks for being honest and not leading me on”.

Do you know any other 24 year old who went on a date with an Adonis and then decided not to pursue it because she deliberated over the long-term consequences and effects. Sometimes I think I’m way too mature for my own good.

I wish I could just let myself have some fun.

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