Hanging around at a pub after work I was socialising with my colleagues. Not my usual scene, so I was quite surprised to find I was actually enjoying myself. Then a colleague of mine picked up on the fact that I don’t drink alcohol. Ever.
The reason I don’t drink is due to religious aspects, my upbringing and my own personal beliefs. Now don’t go thinking I am a complete nut-job who does everything I am told. Many people have been bought up and told ‘not-to-drink’, however the end game is down to every individual personally.
You don’t know what you’re missing he said. But that is exactly the point I replied, I do not know what I am missing, so it’s a non-issue.
You’re missing out on life, you don’t seem to do much.
That simple comment hit deep. He was right, I am missing out on a lot in life due to my simple way of living. I seem to cut a lot of things out because I don’t think I should do them or they don’t fit into the ‘conventional’ life plan. The conventional life plan being getting a job, getting married and settling down. That has always been the way we are supposed to live (remember I grew up in a traditional Indian family).
You should travel, you should live life, make the most of it because at the end we don’t take anything with us. He was right. He was so right, that I have been thinking about his comments all week long. And it’s annoying the fuck out of me.
What I have always thought to be ‘right’ and ‘set in stone’ has now been tainted by his stupid comments.
I am feeling confused and conflicted because I want what he said. I want to travel, I want to make the most out of everyday. But for some reason I am feeling confused with this simple notion because of the whole stupid ‘conventional life plan’ that I have drilled into my head from day one.
When someone rocks you’re way of thinking, taking the ‘new’ into consideration takes a while.
I want what he said. So why am I finding it hard to let in? Why am I looking at life like a foregone conclusion! My life hasn’t even begun yet, I am only 20 years old, yet I seem to have to mentality of a 50 year old.
Now don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I want to go get drunk and trashed.
I have no desire to drink and the like. I just want to do more with life. I want to change up my routine. But I think that is half the problem, I am so used to conventionality and routine!
I am that ‘later’ person. I will do that later. I will travel later. I will live life later. But what happens when later doesn’t come around!?
This post is confusing and doesn’t make much sense, but that because my thoughts don’t make sense. His comments made me change my way of thinking and I am having a hard time adjusting to that.
Talk about confused.com