I have been having a lot of cyber communication and interaction with a certain PUA(pick up artist) recently. You probably know who he is, he definitely knows who he is.
He and I are complete opposites. We argue about every area, topic, issue and belief, but thats why I admire him. I enjoy our debates and lack of agreement. Opposites really do attract.
Firstly I had no idea PUA’s even existed, let alone the fact that there is a whole underground community of them! But that makes sense, a PUA isn’t going to reveal himself and his intentions, that contradicts the whole point of the game. So when I first came across this idea I was shocked, then continued to curse these so called seducers and call them every name under the sun. I mean who do these pigs think they are, going around seducing women and making them drop their panties?! Basically doing everything that goes against my morals and beliefs (I’m fairly traditional and old fashioned for a 20 year old).
When I calmed down and read some of the material posted about this whole game, I came to realise its not as seedy as it sounds. It’s just what every guy and girl does but on a more extreme, sophisticated and higher level.
I also realised that these girls are just as willing. They aren’t getting raped or forced, they are allowing themselves to believe and enjoy the skills and charisma of the PUA.
And ultimately at the end of the day you know exactly what you are getting when you have sex with someone within hours of meeting them.
Having read through some of the material these players use, I realised they are just subtle, overlooked techniques and skills in order to get the girls, nothing wrong with that. Things as simple as starting a conversation by simply asking for the time, then continue the conversation as if you have known one another for years, making her feel as comfortable around you as possible, studying her body language to decide whether or not to pursue etc. Can’t slap a law suit over that.
Sounds simple and natural right, then why do I still not feel easy about and condone all this?
Answer: because of my beliefs, morals and values.
I grew up in a traditional, old fashioned Sikh family, therefore they don’t condone any type of casual sex or even sex before marriage. I have managed to find a balance between being a modern British girl and the good, traditional Sikh girl. I am able to make my own decisions and opinions, so do I agree with EVERYTHING I was taught. Hell no! But I am able to find a balance between the two contradicting cultures which suits me.
Everyone is different. I have Indian girl friends who act like the good girls mummy and daddy raised at home, but then go out drinking, partying and sleeping around every other night (something which is not accepted in the Indian culture even in the 21’st century). I also then have a group of my closer friends who are like myself and don’t feel comfortable with or condone casual sex and one-night stands. The reason I don’t agree with it, is largely down to my upbringing and being told to wait until marriage. However all little girls in the Indian community are taught this, and in todays age, about 90% of them didn’t comply and have had sex in their early teens.
So what makes me different? I guess its due to me being a good girl at heart and due to my romantic nature. I have always been a romantic and love the notion of falling in love with my soul mate and having him as my first and (hopefully) only.
So my wants (one sex partner and lover) are on the complete end of the spectrum compared to a PUA’s (as many sex partners as possible). So its not much of a wonder that I don’t really like what they do.
Having read the blog I realised that the main basis of the game is not to be the nice guy. Their theory: girls love the badboys. Hate to admit it, but its true. We love that alpha male who is dominant but sexy and stern but strong. It makes us feel ultra feminine, and deep down what more does a girl want than for a strong sexy man protecting the little sweet us.
But thats where I disagree, as there seems to be some confusion among guys between being dominating and sexy and just being a conceited, arrogant, rude prick. There is a fine line. Majority of woman may buy it (evidence of this on Kenny’s blog), but there is a small minority of us who just don’t. If sitting in a bar, a guy comes up and insults me (a method of getting a girl in PUA theory), I am more likely to respond by kicking him in the balls, than starting a conversation about the insult. Anger management much?
Recently I feel he has been trying to break me down and submit, probably because I keep repeating that I would never submit to a PUA. He has been emailing me and I am proud to say I have so far re-buffed his attempts. But let me tell you something I haven’t even told him yet…………………………….I have been tempted *head in my hands*.
He has been paying me attention, albeit cyber space attention, but its more than I have received otherwise, so it’s only natural I want to give in. But I have so confidently said that I would never let a slick guy, break me down with his skills, that now it has become a game. In PUA theory they call the likes of me a “Militant game” – someone who isn’t easy. Have to say I quite like that phrase. His game has always been to seduce. But now I am playing that game, only I am trying to refute his efforts and not let him win.
You may be The Player, but honey you just met The Coach!